Since Tuesday . . .

The morning of Tuesday April 6 marked not only the first official day of Pesach but my first technical fuck-up at work. I spilled water all o'er the keyboard of my little laptop and bemoaned my fate as the stupid twit intern who got beaten to death with her own laptop. But this was not to happen. I immediately shut it down, mopped up what water I could, then lifted all the keys with a bobby pin* so that the keyboard resembled an unplayed game of Guess Who?**. This left me with no computer at all, nothing to use to look like I was working when I didn't want to. So I had to make my newsstand-marketing phone calls all day.

I left early, at three, to pick up Ezra from the Greyhound station and take him to my house for the second Pesach seder. Ezra had been worried about meeting my parents for the first-but-kinda-second time. Assuring him that he'd already met my parents but he just happened to be making out with me at the time did nothing to assuage his fears.***

My family loves him. Can't get enough of him. Except that I left him alone for one week and he bought a leather jacket and a sword and grew a goatee. He shaved the goatee promptly.****

Okay, that's enough for now. Until I get bored. Staff meeting in 10 minutes.



Notes on the above:

*then lifted all the keys with a bobby pin: what is it about doing anything with a bobby pin that feels so hardcore? It's so "I'm so cool, I don't even need a screwdriver" kind of cool.

**Guess Who?: this was the only old-school board game in whose commercials the girl won when her opponent was a boy. In most game commercials the boy got to say "I WIN!!" but in this one, even though she won, the boy got to say, "you win, let's play again." Remember that boys are the winners and girls stay quiet. Otherwise your product won't sell. Proof of the pudding (I hate that expression), every cupboard or closet of board games in the 80s and early 90s housed a Guess Who? along with Sorry, Clue and Monopoly.

***He'd already met my parents: at the airport, when we walked off the plane holding hands and I kissed him goodbye in the we'll-probably-never-see-eachother-again way while our parents who came to pick us up awkwardly introduced themselves to each other.

****He shaved the goatee promptly:
E: So do you like my beard?
M: I can't lie. No.
E: But I asked if I should shave it off!
M: And I said, "if you want me not to make fun of you."
E: Subtlety doesn't work with me. I'll shave it if you like.
M: I would like.
E: Damn.
M: You were hoping I'd say, "that's very nice of you to offer but you really don't have to." I wouldn't have told you to, but you did offer and I would like to take you up on that offer.
E: I didn't bring a razor.
M: Don't worry. I have one.