I have to talk about the office IT guy.

Usually they're nothing special. Usually they're the people who fix the problems and then they're on their merry way. If this was 400 years ago they'd have their own guild and they would be a proud group of labourers who hold to family honour or something. Not so today. Today, when you meet a neat IT guy, you know if they're special.

Well this guy's special thing is that he thinks he's Neo from the Matrix. He wears a leather jacket (all the time) and looks like the TV-version of Keanu Reeves. And when he met me I was sitting at my desk all busy-like, and he was all,

"Hi, uh . . . I don't think we've met . . ." in that way that makes Keanu worth mocking.

Good handshake. Our IT guy reminds me of the pet employee from my days working at the Condom Shack. This guy's name was Sam and he just sat in the back room all day counting condoms. He was so cute. He never said anything or did anything but count condoms. And you knew that when he went home, he felt like he'd done his part. He'd earned his beer-and-nachos in front of the TV.

Just so with the current IT guy. We don't really talk (I don't have any computer problems worth reporting, and when I do I feel like a princess if I don't solve them myself) but my day doesn't get any worse when he's around.

Speaking of work, I've been phoning to "establish" a "dialogue" with our "members" regarding the "new project" we're "launching" as part of an "initiative" with grant money from "Canada." I do hate calling strangers.

. . . I just had that fantasy where I'm in Singapore and I have my hut and I wear only linen robes and flip flops and eat rice and shoots and fresh fish. I don't trust the paper here (yet I trust the seafood?) and so I can only write on the notebook I brought from home "long ago." Thus every word is precious and I don't waste a single one. When they find my body (I either got stabbed or bitten by something), they'll say, "hey! She's a lady! And she's been writing!" And when they realize it's stupid English shit they light it on fire with the rest of my hut, and steal my goat.