Current Status: moody

Tunes: The Bends.

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I abandoned ship on the novel I'd been obsessively working on for three years. Bye bye to The Seven Days of Concentration: Dirty Styles, and all those characters like Julia with the bleeding head wound and Trap aka the twelve-fingered boy, Grain, Queer Astride a Bike

Looks like the next novel will not be happening given the current mood. God I just need to write but the next novel is just not happening. It feels like when you realize your lover never liked that "thing" you do, and why didn't they have the bloody decency to let you know.

I came across an old list of mine from age 14, "Michelle's Rules of Writing." (At that point I had just started my first-ever novel.) Item 7: "When someone criticizes your work, take it personally." Why did I write that? Why did I deliberately learn the wrong thing?

Other things about writing:

Raul (former writing instructor): "Don't get discouraged. Get angry. Get pissed. Write better."

Dorothy Parker: "I don't like writing. I like having written."

James Baldwin: "I want to be an honest man and a good writer."

also:

Anais Nin: "We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are."

also: running out of ways to cover the bruises. My hair is only so effective.

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It's turning out to be one of those days when I do an adequate amount of work and then go out in the rain and then eat a muffin and continue to do an adequate amount of procrastination and timewasting.

I never thought I'd say this: I miss my second-year. I'd go back there for a little while.

How nice. If your vacation could be just to return to one good place in time. It would be then. Too bad all the good things didn't happen at the same time, but I'd pick and choose if I could. Good times with Muck plus wine with Krista and before I'd gotten fed up with some people, most of all before that worst birthday I've ever had. What a good time that would be.