Dear Steve Perry,

Too late I realize that May 7th was International Steve Perry Day. To late did you realize the same. I know the folks over at Something Awful have done their part to make you aware that on May the 7th every year, the entire world celebrates not just your accomplishments, but you as a person.

How does it feel to be you, Steve Perry? How does it feel to know that you are alone in the world, except for the one (me) who can also sing "Small Town Girl" with the same passion and intensity, the same notes waaaay up there? How is that talking-fruit project coming along? Do we have fruit that can talk yet? And maybe sing? You have so much to teach me, Steve Perry. We could listen to records together!

And while I'm on the subject of you and your oeuvre, look what I bought while I was celebrating International Steve Perry Day, and by coincidence also drunk. If I know my Steve Perry (oh and I think I do!), you'll be able to tell me how to make an XL shirt into a regular girl-type one. Year after year your fans have asked for these kinds of things from you, and you haven't let them down. When you said don't stop believing, I listened.

So Steve Perry, happy Day of the You. Can we go for a cola sometime?